hurt never means hardcore nor bitter

This is a pain like no other
A pain that I have never felt before
I know they say love hurts
But I didn’t know it felt like this
You see I’ve been struggling trying to overcome it
But it seems like them more I try the more it plummets on me
It’s crazy because it started out like a dream
Then I saw that it was really my reality…finally
But now I see the nightmare on Elm Street
Maybe that is a bit extreme but like a bee sting
The small things hurt worse than the large things
Some nights it’s hard to sleep
Some days it’s almost hard to breath
Because I’m used to your scent
Used to feeling your heart beat next to me as I sleep
Missing my phone singing “I can’t stay away from you too long”
Isn’t that funny because now you’re gone
The songs fit for the moment yet when that moment is over
Almost wish I had never heard it
Now here I am on the verge of hardcore and bitter
All because my heart is slightly broken
But I know that doesn’t mean I should close it
I’ll leave it open for _______ to resolve it
Because I know _______ will arrive one day
And I refuse to push _______ away
Because ______ may want to marry me
And that would be a shame to block that dream
All because of a heart break
So believe me the pain has scared me
But I’m pulling the cocoa butter out to heal me
Because I refuse to be that bitter woman most men have come to see
And who know he just may come back to me
But if I’m the anger bitter black woman I’m sure that he’ll leave
I’d probably leave me too
Because how can I ever appreciate happiness if I’m always so mean